Small penises have feelings too.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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