A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
operation have a gay friend backfired
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
