hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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