Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
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