o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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