I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
