38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
