Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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