I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize