I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
