North Korea, Best Korea!
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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