i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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