Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
