I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
