my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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