where am i from again
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
