I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
