It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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