So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize