Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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