2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
