I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
