I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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