I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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