i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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