I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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