He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
