My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize
