we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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