dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I need to sanitize my soul.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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