Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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