..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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