Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
