no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
