Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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