At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
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