we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize