i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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