They should really pass out barf bags in church
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Randomize
