You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
