How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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