Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The adults are the big ones right?
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