Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
