New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
