i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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