ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
