This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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