She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize
