i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
