I'm drive I can fine osifer
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize
