I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
