I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Green mimosas i think yes
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
