honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
