Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize
