dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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