my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
