I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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