He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
