plz talk dirty to me
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
