I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
